Misgav’s Eulogy for Niot, Six Years / הספדה של משגב לנאות אחרי 6 שנים

Nioti, can you believe it, six years have passed, six years and I’m already older than you.

Six years and I am trying to understand how it makes sense that you disappeared.

Before we had a chance to really get to know each other, before we managed to put all our silliness aside and rally talk about life and to stop being kids. Simply to love.

You left me in the middle of life, just when I needed you the most. We were going to be in the army together, to trade stories about our treks, to talk about the next trip, maybe even travel together, to talk about our studies and way of life, to go crazy at Asor’s and Mizmor’s weddings. Because you and are are two crazy people.

Six years that your death is a lump in my throat. I didn’t know what it meant for me, what I feel, how I express it.

During this past year you have been with me, I felt and learned to feel you inside, not in my heart or any other place, but like blood flowing through my whole body.

You flow through everything, and every day we get to know each other a little bit better, we carry on from where we stopped six years ago.

I have learned to listen to what’s inside, to choose the good and love over anger and hatred. And that’s all from you.

You left in body, but this year you are here more than ever, you are strong, you are present.

This hand of yours that in the hospital held me at an angle behind the ear is now on all of us, I feel you, Niot. Thanks for being here, for not having gone, and for continuing to be my big brother and showing me the way.